Seriously. ***NSFW***

I will let the following pictures say a thousand words, as they are wont to do.

Saturday, June 19th at 2 pm. Woe is me, I will be at work. I really need to use a vacation day for this though because if I leave NYC without seeing this I will never forgive myself.

Lou Reed is the freaking Neptune King. Seriously. Best Parade Ever.

The Sopranos

Even though I make a pretty decent living I still can't bring myself to shell out $150 for a single ticket to the Met. If any of you know any millionaires who want to buy Christmas presents for the undeserving and fortunate then please send them my way. Until that time comes I will have to suffice with hearing a few hours of the Met for free this summer.

My plan is to go Thursday July 29th to Jackie Robinson Park. That way I can also make a trip up to Harlem for the first time.

There are several other dates and locations throughout all the boroughs for the Summer Recital Series if you don't feel up to leaving Harlem at 10 pm or if you'll be stumbling home after a happy hour that night.

Or, if listening to people sing in other languages isn't your thing, there are tons of other concerts in Central Park. The New York Philharmonic also does free shows which are supposed to be very romantical. It's hard to go wrong with classical music, under the stars, in Central Park, in the summer, and in Manhattan.

Needed: A Picnic Blanket, A Bottle of Wine, and Gene Hackman Cursing

I already have basically the best picnic blanket that money can buy. And a lovely little wine shop just down the street from my apartment where the employees card me AND uncomfortably hit on me every time I drop in. So all I need is Gene Hackman cursing and I will be allllllll set.

Luckily, I can procure just that, for free, at The Bryant Park Summer Film Festival . The French Connection is playing Monday July 5th and that is where I plan to get my dose of Gene Hackman, grimy NYC circa the seventies, and a fun car chase to boot. One word of advice... be there at 5 pm on the dot (see picture below). I imagine it would be slightly less crowded the day after the 4th of July so that's a plus.

So if you would like to join me, my super cool picnic blanket, a nice bottle of Shiraz that I endured five minutes of unwanted male attention for, Gene Hackman, and about 15,000 New Yorkers I'll save a spot for you.

Swing-a-dee Do-Da!

The time has come to start filling up the calendars on our fifth appendages: the blackberries, droids, and iphones we hold so near and dear.

Our first contender... Midsummer Night Swing 2010.

I fell in love with this event on a sticky summer stroll back in good ol' 1998. It was a year of many great first. My first beer, my first sighting of my boobs that appeared virtually overnight, and my first trip to manhattan with my BFFFFFFF at the time (and always), Rachel.

Even virtually a decade ago, everyone was all business in Manhattan. I even recall a few cell phones attached to the sides of their heads. And then, in the midst of all the hustle and bustle in Midtown, I saw a girl that looked as if she had leaped out of King Kong's grasp and landed in modern day Manhattan perfectly coifed and ready for a night out. At the time I didn't know how to express it but today my thoughts could best be summed up as "Wtf..."

At some point I learned that this polka dotted princess in red lipstick was on her way to Midsummer Night Swing. And now I get to go! (mental image: Alex doing the Snoopy dance in her apartment)

To keep it simple, Midsummer Night Swing is an event that is held every summer at the park in Lincoln Square. Live bands (supposedly some of the world's best but as I know nothing about any of this music I am not qualified to comment) play and you dance to disco, salsa, and swing amongst others. But here's the best part... they give you a 45 minute lesson! And it's only $17 for the whole night! The bummer is that tickets sell out fast.

My plan is to get tickets for Saturday, July 10th for the Wycliffe Gordon Sextet and be swung around the dance floor. Most likely by an imaginary boyfriend. But if anyone would like to join me, imaginary and real significant others are welcome! If swing isn't your thing, check out the link above.